Run and run....



It’s summer and it’s hot as hell (I’m in Arizona, so that statement is legitimately accurate). But while it’s too hot to run outside, the treadmill gets boring and I always wonder how the hell anyone could read a damn book/magazine while they’re running. So if you’re like me and need different entertainment… Here is a list to help you with your treadmill struggles.
Race the people next to you.
Copy literally every movement the person next to you does.
Pretend that you are singing the song that is playing to a massive arena filled with people and they are all singing along and you are totally more famous than Ellie Goulding and you’re a star.
Realize that you actually are a star (in your own special way).
Make up elaborate back stories for every person you see in the gym.
Combine the stories to create a really epic battle and/or romantic comedy.
Listen to audio books.
Remember you have homework and start profusely sweating from stress and not from the run.
Force your friends to go to the gym with you so you can talk to them.
Force your boyfriend to go to the gym with you so you can talk to them.
Talk to yourself because you have no friends to workout with.
Wonder if the reason you have no friends is because you talk to yourself in public places.
Realize you don’t care
Watch a TV show.
Think about the vast and terrifying future.
Think about all the cute clothes you are going to buy after you are shredded from this workout.
Go back to conversations from the past where you didn’t have a good come back and make up a really good one.
Be mad that you didn’t think of it sooner.
Decide which guys in the room you would hook up with given the chance.
Do the same for girls (look I’m straight but if I saw Olivia Wilde at the gym I’d still try to get it).
Think about what you will name your future children.
Or dogs.
Come up with some really insightful conversation starters to have in the future.
Forget them by the time you’re done running.
Picture Chris Evans running directly in front of you.
Picture Chris Evans running directly in front of you… Naked.
Try to hide the fact that you are picturing Channing Tatum naked.
Do the same for Ryan Gosling.
And Channing Tatum.
Think about the delicious (and healthy) meal you are going to eat after this amazing workout.
Dance like no one is watching.
Dance like people are watching and just don’t give a fuck.
Pretend you are currently running an Olympic race and someone from Team Canada is right on your tail and if you don’t finish running that damn Canadian and her bacon are going to catch you.
Just run and zone out and let those endorphins kick in because endorphins make you happy and happy people just don’t shoot their husbands. They just don’t.

this is amazing







new undies: cute stretchmarks: also cute

No no no and NO stretch marks are never cute!! wtf too lazy to go get some cocoa butter and use it daily? We all have stretch marks but we can get rid of it.. People should take care of themselves and if cocoa butter didnt work for you make an appointment for a laser stretch mark removal dont be a lazy ass

hey quick question: what’s your fuckin damage

all stretch marks are beautiful no exceptions 

stretch marks are perfectly fine and natural and beautiful, free lightning bolt tattoos yo
cocoa butter is a preventative that does not always work, and smells and stains clothes and oh yeah, since a lot of people get stretch marks just from growing NOT from weight, theyd have to slather their whole body and no one really wants to do that or smell like that so strongly.
laser treatment? really? you want people to pay $1000+/appt (usually takes a few treatments) to get rid of something perfectly natural because you’ve named yourself standard of the fucking world and think we all live to please you? most people dont have that money and if they do thats not what they want to spend it on.
also fuck you.

I usually don’t reblog ladies in undies, but for real. Don’t fuckin’ knock people over stretchmarks, or anything on their bodies for that matter. I’ve been underweight all my life and have them from growing. They happen. The just do. 


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